Practical Tips for Streamlining Special Occasions and Making Gift-Giving Enjoyable for Grandma and You
You’re the caregiving child. You oversee her health, her care, her paperwork, her medical appointments, and her finances.
And therefore, you also take care of her gifts. When she wants to give a granddaughter money for her birthday or buy a gift for her confirmation, you are on again. You take care of it with a check or an online order, card, giftwrap, and delivery. It’s a lot. And each time it’s another chore.
You understand your mother. She wants the kids to feel special and the occasion to be marked. But how can you make it easier for you, the one who has a million other caregiving tasks?
Gift giving can have a combination of functions. It marks a milestone. It creates a memory. And it sends a message from the grantor to the recipient. The message can be I love you, I care about you, and/or I want you to know I remember your hobbies, interests, and preferences.
You want to streamline this, but it’s mom giving the gifts. I would suggest a planning session. Sit down together for some scheduled time to discuss how to do this going forward. Be sure to have both your calendars with you. Mark the life cycle events that you know about in advance on a paper calendar. These would be birthdays, graduations, communions, bar and bat mitzvahs, weddings, and quinceaneras. Mom will get a sense of how many there are in the coming year and the two of you will work out how much to spend overall. Keep in mind that gift giving at holiday time also costs. Remember to separate lifecycle gifts from holiday gifts.
Then you can divide them into categories and budget for each. Each grandchild gets a check for X if they are under ten. A different amount for under twenty and a third amount for adults. Different ideas (or gift cards at stores) for middle school, high school, college, and graduate school graduations. Gift certificates at sports suppliers, beauty websites, or craft stores can be fun. It makes the gift more personal. Magazine subscriptions and books are easy options, too, and send a message of the primacy of literacy. The plus of gift subscriptions to magazines is that the recipient is reminded of the gift month after month. It’s also convenient because you can do it digitally. If you decide on one vendor for all of the gifts (such as Amazon or Macy’s), you may be able to save money by racking up points. I would suggest maxing gift categories or vendors at five. You don’t want to turn this into a bigger job than it has to be.
You may want to add balloons, flowers, or something else for more important milestones. You may want to create a family tradition or start an heirloom tradition related to your mom’s culture or religion. If she does crafts, see if she wants to create homemade gifts for these occasions. The main thing is to be ready in advance. Take the time to have the conversation before finalizing the new standardized practices.
Buy a box of bulk birthday cards from Amazon. You will get an array that will suit people of all ages, from preschoolers to adults. Another box of blank notecards will be helpful for the other occasions. Order stamps if you will be mailing them out. Get some giftwrap into the house, too. You will be preparing the gifts, cards, and more from her home, not yours. It will become an enjoyable activity you can do together without time pressure if you schedule the time and use your calendar reminders. Even if you write the cards, have the gifting grandparent sign it so it is personalized.
If your mother likes to create and you plan and supply carefully, she can make cards and gifts together with the aide.
The idea is to create systems that will help you and mom gift with pleasure, rather than onerous last-minute effort.
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